Ivan's Army Canteen

Crash

2012-02-28T00:40:00.002-08:00

I Forgot the Introductions...

2012-02-21T18:20:00.000-08:00

Fighting with Leftovers

2012-02-09T10:25:00.000-08:00

Cookies

2012-02-06T03:33:00.000-08:00

Dark iClouds

2012-01-29T23:37:00.000-08:00

Dark Age

2012-01-08T23:54:00.000-08:00

I was reading these old manuscripts and found this "flip-book" on bottom of the pages...

IX century history of British Isles in IV seconds

Weekly Caption No.9 - Exploitation

2012-01-06T19:19:00.000-08:00

Screen-cast No.2 - Jump

2011-12-03T01:50:00.001-08:00

Some more screen-castin'...

Screen-cast No.1 - Test

2011-11-30T02:10:00.001-08:00

I tested this screen capture software. It has a five minute limit and becomes a little distracting to save file and start a new screen capture multiple times.

More to come...

Game

2011-11-16T23:20:00.001-08:00

Doodle

2011-11-16T10:28:00.001-08:00

While you are waiting for a real drawing...

Black Gold

2011-10-31T07:00:00.000-07:00

Add caption?

Portrait by a Guest Artist

2011-10-24T15:06:00.000-07:00

"Life is a lot easier to deal with if you consider that everyone is a cartoon character"

-Ivan

"Ivan" by Tim

Beer of Alex

2011-10-17T19:45:00.000-07:00

Weekly Caption No.8

2011-10-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

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Genesis

2011-10-08T18:46:00.000-07:00

Scroll →

Tom said...

a lot can happen in 6,000 years

October 13, 2011 7:11 PM

Stalking

2011-10-04T23:22:00.000-07:00

Jason said...

YOU SHALL NOT PAAAAASSSSS!!!!!!

October 5, 2011 4:27 PM

steve said...

-Tour Guide

"Every one be very quiet, this is a very rare find. No one has ever observed the bearded deer alive and in the wild. Some one hand me my iphone"

October 6, 2011 8:23 PM

Prehistoric History

2011-09-26T08:38:00.000-07:00

hagenism said...

Here we see a prehistoric cougar

September 26, 2011 10:22 PM

from the corner said...

Anthropologists have recently discovered that not only did cavemen play dodgeball but they picked their teams the same way we do today.

September 27, 2011 10:51 AM

Weekly Caption No.7

2011-09-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

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Jason said...

So he was like, "Why did the caterpillar cross the road?"

So I was like, "I don't know! Maybe if I had some F-ing legs I could tell you jack ass!!"

So then he was like, "That's not what I meant. I'm sorry."

That's when I realized that I was really lashing out at my mother for always making me feel inadequate and sticking me with the dry leaves left over from my brother. She always loved my brother more...

September 19, 2011 4:40 PM

jack ass said...

wow,that invisible woman really knows how to make a worm feel special

September 19, 2011 5:45 PM

bored and hungry said...

Drill Instructor " Come one one more sit up you filthy good for nothing worm"

September 19, 2011 5:50 PM

Mister Beta said...

I am going to be the pretties butterfly at the ball...

September 19, 2011 5:54 PM

mark said...

I wonder if that nuclear waste I fell into, will give me any special powers

September 20, 2011 4:00 PM

Anonymous said...

Fucking bed bugs...

September 22, 2011 8:15 PM

My First and Second Band

2011-09-16T15:48:00.000-07:00

Before I was an animator I had a musical career...

Weekly Caption No.6

2011-09-12T16:06:00.000-07:00

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carne asada said...

"look kids, i don't care what your father says. we're on the moon and i'll wear what i damn well please."

September 13, 2011 3:11 PM

Gerri said...

My new surgery was an utter success!

September 13, 2011 10:52 PM

Brittany said...

Our tour guide, Larry, says it really IS made of cheese!

September 13, 2011 11:20 PM

Anonymous said...

Baby: Mom, that scary alien that ate dad is trying to get in on our picture again.

Mother: It's ok honey just ignore it, hopefully it will go away.

September 14, 2011 8:51 AM

Jason said...

"Bye Ivan!", waves Ivan's real family, as his space pod lifts off and his dream of living in Culver City, Earth are finally becoming a reality.

September 16, 2011 11:19 AM

Marchin'

2011-09-08T12:32:00.000-07:00

Jason said...

What most people don't know is that Spartacus was also an expert moonwalker...

September 8, 2011 4:23 PM

Anonymous said...

pergatory

September 8, 2011 6:26 PM

Weekly Caption No.5

2011-08-29T10:37:00.000-07:00

click the image to see larger size... and it's a watch...

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Anonymous said...

this is going to take forever...

August 29, 2011 7:50 PM

Anonymous said...

This will definitely make me famous I am creating art with time. I am an innovator!

August 29, 2011 7:51 PM

Anonymous said...

At least this way I wont miss Frasier at 7

August 29, 2011 7:53 PM

Mythical Trio

2011-08-27T14:49:00.000-07:00

I pulled this out of my butt yesterday... it was rough...

Weekly Caption No.4

2011-08-22T11:23:00.000-07:00

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Weekly Caption No.3

2011-08-08T16:08:00.000-07:00

After unannounced hiatus, it's time to get back in the groove...

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Anonymous said...

...

August 9, 2011 3:25 PM

Anonymous said...

Mr President!... Mr President!...

How does it feel to be be a guiness book of world record holder for fitting 200 marbles in your mouth and at once.And what are those weird growths between your fingers?

August 9, 2011 7:29 PM

Mid-Weekly Caption No.2.5

2011-07-25T09:05:00.000-07:00

It is again a late post and it's not even colored... I know, the quality has really gone down the toilet.

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Alex Carr said..

"Boy, HD sure does stink! It's not even colored and the quality has really gone down the toilet."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anonymous said...

Who the f#$(* drew HD on my window...

Weekly Caption No.2

2011-07-15T21:19:00.000-07:00

I apologetize for being a day and a half late to post this week's drawing.

Life has hijacked me, but I was able to punch it in the face...

Without further ado, here we go..

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Jason said...

If it's only been a week or so, there's bound to be some good meat left...

July 16, 2011 4:26 PM

Anonymous said...

I can't go with you watching me

July 18, 2011 10:29 AM

Weekly Caption No.1

2011-07-07T16:26:00.000-07:00

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Captions Posted:

Sam Hogg said...

Art School Confidential: It's all about taking your money.

Scene 1 -

Waking up suddenly, Francisco says to Brian, "Gasp... I'm in debt for the rest of my life!"

Brian grumbles, "Don't be a pussy; just suck it up and be a hipster."

July 8, 2011 3:15 AM

Jason Honey said...

Is that a new shampoo?

July 8, 2011 5:05 PM

Anonymous said...

Hmm.. tastes like asparagus...

July 13, 2011 8:40 PM

Filler

2011-07-06T12:09:00.000-07:00

Filler until tomorrow...

Anonymous said...

sadly, bob did not realize that they stopped selling cocaine in drug stores at the turn of the twentieth century.

Daily Caption No.31 - Lazy

2011-06-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

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Anonymous said...

I thought about getting up and sitting in the chair, but then I thought, fuck it

Daily Caption will become Weekly Caption

2011-06-28T23:40:00.000-07:00

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.
After some suggestions and a long contemplation period it is time I become a decider.
I have already scheduled this run of drawings to run until Thursday, June 30, but the caption will change from daily to weekly on that Thursday.

Also, the drawings will change since I will start drawing exclusively for the weekly caption. Until now I have just pulled a random drawing from the library and posted it. There will be more thought put in the subject matter as well.

Well, don't let me keep you from other Internet adventures.
Be merry and full.

Daily Caption No.30 - Watch your Mouth

2011-06-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

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We've all been there....

Daily Caption No.29 - Nailing the Board

2011-06-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

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Daily Caption No.28 - Watchdog

2011-06-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

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Daily Caption No.27 - Something Smells Rotten in Denmark

2011-06-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

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Daily Caption No.27 - Friends

2011-06-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

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Daily Caption No.26 - Marco...

2011-06-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

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Daily Caption No.25 - Jolly

2011-06-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

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Anonymous said...

with a little bit of brown hair dye and his new smiley-face shirt, carrot-top felt like he had a new lease on life!

Daily Caption No.24 - Up 'n' Down

2011-06-17T09:00:00.000-07:00

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Daily Caption No.23 - The First Contact

2011-06-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

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Daily Caption No.22 - Hibernating

2011-06-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

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Daily Caption No.21 - Cats

2011-06-14T10:00:00.001-07:00

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If we ever get off of this carousel....I'm going to eat the crap out of you!

Slugging it Out

2011-06-14T00:45:00.000-07:00

I just did some sketches for my friends storybook for kids.

Please, don't salt your slugs...

Daily Caption No.20 - It's a Plane...

2011-06-13T10:18:00.000-07:00

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Jason said...

According to my calculations.......I am an asshole.

Daily Caption No.19 - Pain Management

2011-06-10T11:35:00.000-07:00

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Kristen said...

I have a bone to pick with you...

Daily Caption No.18 - Full Time Job

2011-06-09T12:03:00.000-07:00

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Daily Caption No.17 - And in This Corner...

2011-06-08T11:37:00.000-07:00

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Karl said...

Trust Me!!! This IS the Ho I sent my junk to...

Anonymous said...

Nema leba bez motiku,al sad ni motiku nemamo.....

Daily Caption No.16 - Cottonelle

2011-06-06T10:18:00.000-07:00

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Captions Posted:

No Dear, It just honey . . .

Daily Caption No.15 - Coming to America

2011-06-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

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Daily Caption No.14 - ...and then he made a king

2011-06-02T10:21:00.000-07:00

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Daily Caption No.13 - Atkins

2011-06-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

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Lets see . . . .
1 Bagel @ 200Cal
2347 Poppyseeds @ .005 Cals/Seed
2tbs Cream Cheese @ 250Cal
AND . click.click.click
Yep, I am still hungry

Daily Caption No.12 - Orals

2011-05-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

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I keep waiting, But yet I am still here . . . .

Daily Caption No.11 - Work Dynamic

2011-05-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

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People Skills . . . . Check . . . .

Too much caffeine . . . . . Check . . . .

Getting to watch this interview . . . . . Priceless!

Daily Caption No.10 - Doctor's Appointment

2011-05-27T09:01:00.000-07:00

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"The Hangover 12---coming to a theater near you!"

Man, Conan's new show is fucking strange...

Yet another weekend with Bernie

Daily Caption No.09 - Alarm

2011-05-26T09:51:00.000-07:00

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looks like those lower intestines are angry, better get an umbrella

And God said, let there be bubble brains

Daily Caption No.08 - That Wonka...

2011-05-25T10:00:00.000-07:00

Add caption below...

Posted Captions:

When he said "pick me up and I will nail your box", I had a whole different scenario in my mind.....

How many times do I have to tell you, stop farting into the smokestack!

Schrader's Exorcism DVD Cover

2011-05-25T01:18:00.000-07:00

I did this a few years ago. A friend asked me to do a DVD cover for a documentary. I recorded the process from drawing to finish...

Daily Caption No.07 - Begging for Attention

2011-05-24T12:22:00.000-07:00

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-"And for my next trick, I'll turn these poor souls into a prince and princess to live happily ever after..."

Another "Biggest Loser" cast off

Daily Caption No.06 - Good Times...

2011-05-23T12:33:00.000-07:00

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Fo'real!

CUT!!!! I said CHUNKY!! I want more chunks this time! Don't make come up there and do it myself! OK, let's roll. Remember, think CHUNKY. Take number 17, aaaaaaand ACTION!!

Director: I hear Sally got an Up Chuck Norris from Steve last night, guess she likes it rough.
Actor: My MOM???

Daily Caption No.05 - Ice, Ice, Baby

2011-05-22T10:59:00.000-07:00

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Damn!, I always forget the thick, heavy brows.

Daily Caption No.04 - Waste Officers

2011-05-21T10:40:00.000-07:00

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Things just haven't been the same ever since Jolt Cola began sponsoring the sanitation department...

Sensei Gichin Funakoshi is turning in his grave now that his training is being used at Waste Management . . .

Daily Caption No.03 - Needle Pointing

2011-05-20T10:22:00.000-07:00

"Bad mother f...Watch your mouth!"

A man with a point...

I think I just sewed my scrotum to this rag . . .

Enough is enough!! I have had it with these motherfucking cross-stitches on this motherfucking linen!

This way, they'll never make fun of my sweaty palms ever again.

Daily Caption No.02

2011-05-19T12:27:00.000-07:00

-"Ummmmm...... needs more Valium"

-"This is the worst Cirque du Soleil ever."

-"Izvin'te, moliću lepo, jel' u toj flaši eliksir protiv ćelavosti ?"

-"Hunter, tell me the truth....this isn't water, is it?"

Caption Contest - Daily Caption No.01

2011-05-18T13:40:00.001-07:00

Since my work requires me to make large amount of random drawings, I decided to start a daily caption "contest." The quotation signs are there because you don't win anything and the judges (i.e. myself) are extremely biast, and have no sense of good taste.
If you are still not discouraged feel free to write captions even for previous posts...

P.S. maybe in the future we'll work something out about rewards (drawing or some non-monetary kudos...)

-Ivan

-"Are you gonna show me some thigh or do I have to go home and dream about it?"

-"Tell me! Please tell me! Did you come before the egg, or after?"

-"And, like then, he choked me . . . . "

-"Are you my cock?"

-"So I said, "To get to the other side!""

-"I told you not to eat that cabbage"

I wish all of these captions can be there. They are all so true...

Spirit of the Day

2011-05-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

Kite Making

2011-05-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

Little is known about the ancient Roman kite making...

Vegas Experience

2011-05-16T12:19:00.000-07:00

Fractals - An Old Conversation

2011-05-13T12:24:00.000-07:00

Origins Of An Infinite Universe? A Fractal Conversation...

Written by violetplanet on Nov-2-08 3:07pm

Fractal Earth

From: violetplanet.blogspot.com

THE PREMISE: "Galaxy Map Hints At Fractal Universe":

Is the matter in the universe arranged in a fractal pattern? A new study of nearly a million galaxies suggests it is – though there are no well-accepted theories to explain why that would be so.
Cosmologists trying to reconstruct the entire history of the universe have precious few clues from which to work. One key clue is the distribution of matter throughout space, which has been sculpted for nearly 14 billion years by the competing forces of gravity and cosmic expansion. If there is a pattern in the sky, it encodes the secrets of the universe. A lot is at stake, and the matter distribution has become a source of impassioned debate between those who say the distribution is smooth and homogeneous and those who say it is hierarchically structured and clumpy, like a fractal.
Nearly all physicists agree that on relatively small scales the distribution is fractal-like: hundreds of billions of stars group together to form galaxies, galaxies clump together to form clusters, and clusters amass into superclusters.
The point of contention, however, is what happens at even larger scales. According to most physicists, this Russian doll-style clustering comes to an end and the universe, on large scales, becomes homogeneous. But a small team of physicists, including Francesco Sylos Labini of the Enrico Fermi Centre in Rome and Luciano Pietronero of the University of Rome argue that the data shows the opposite: the universe continues to look fractal as far out as our telescopes can see... Article Continues Here

THE DEFINITION: Fractal |ˈfraktəl| Mathematics

Noun: A curve or geometric figure, each part of which has the same statistical character as the whole. Fractals are useful in modeling structures (such as eroded coastlines or snowflakes) in which similar patterns recur at progressively smaller scales, and in describing partly random or chaotic. -New Oxford American Dictionary, 2008.

THE CONVERSATION:

VioletPlanet: Fascinating article. You must educate me. In layman’s terms what does this mean? What is the concept of a fractal universe?

IvansArmy: Usually, Fractal is used when referring to a fractal system. In layman's terms a fractal is a part of a system or a whole (singularity) which in itself possesses all the information necessary to create a singularity or a system of its own. The most obvious fractal example is Nature. You have a seed or a singularity which grows into a plant with a stem and the off-shoots. The leaves or branches divide into their own singularities; then you can say that we are fractals of our parents since we literally come out of them and contain their DNA.

In mathematics there are fractal equations which may be represented as fractal graphs. One of the key characteristics of these graphs is that you may "zoom" or scale into the graph indefinitely with new geometric structures being created by the equation into infinity.

You may see how it becomes very intuitive to view the entire universe as an infinite, complex, fractal structure. This is not really any groundbreaking idea, but it's only recently that our"modern" science is coming to terms with reality and shedding some old abstract ideas about the nature of existence. These ideas are mainly influenced by a specific point of view held in the West that we (as self-conscious beings) are observers separate from the universe in which we exist. This point of view is not necessarily directly expressed but is more a state of self-consciousness which observes the universe but is not aware of its own state and therefore has fundamental hang-ups in its perception of itself and everything around it.

VioletPlanet: So...Quantum Physics is definitely true in this case. We are all connected and the universe is the seed.

IvansArmy: We are all...the universe. To be connected to the universe assumes that in some way we are "other" and therefore need to connect to it. We just are...IT. There is nothing but the universe so "we" cannot be other from...IT.

VioletPlanet: But didn't the universe ever have a beginning...hence "the seed?" Or has it always been infinite or shall we say immortal? Is it possible for anything to be immortal?

IvansArmy: Death and life are very relative concepts. There is a birth and a death of the ego or what we think of as...I. However, the line between life and death becomes blurred when you ask... what is the exact point of differentiation in time between the two and who is doing the measuring? For the purposes of convenience, we say someone is born on the day they come out of mother's womb. However, does this mean that the previous day that same person was not alive? When does life start? Is it during Gastrulation when bases of all the rest of the tissues are created? Or is it upon fertilization of the egg? Or is it when the spermatozoa are created in the testicles of the father and the ovum in mother? Or is it the birth of the mother and the father? We could say that life and death are complements of each other or duality of being. Therefore, immortality as the western dualistic and moralistic philosophy might view it...does not exist because it implies absence of death, which is absurd since things die daily.

Another problem with "immortality" is that it implies a concept of linear time which is purely an abstract human concept created for utilitarian purposes. We forget that just like the number 3, or the equator line, time as we perceive it...is purely an abstract human construct and the true reality of time is inconceivable purely through the linear data-processing of our mind. In this sense, when we talk about immortality what is usually implied is a constant unchangeable measure of time which is divorced from the universe in which it exists and therefore is non-existent.

Scientists are a part of our culture and they view the world through the "lens" of the Ego or the finite "I." This is logical to them: I (the Ego) have a beginning and an end. Therefore, the universe must have a beginning and end. Yet, when you were born your body did not come out of nothing but was constructed with atoms of numerous elements which were utilized by other systems (bodies of your parents) to assemble you. When you die your body does not disappear into thin air but is dissolved back into the environment. The molecules and atoms are recycled into other life forms, particles of dust, soil, plants, etc. Therefore, it's not possible to claim with any degree of certainty that the universe had a definite beginning before...which it did not exist. I am not saying there was no big bang or a similar happening, but it's false to assume the universe's non-existence prior to the happening. Universe is immortal purely in its existence.

VioletPlanet: Life and death on earth parallel life and death within the universe, the death of stars, planets, black holes are dead etc. Therefore, the inter-connectedness makes sense. We would mimic that which created us. There is an order to things...which is infinite. The earth is one gigantic cell within the universal body. The cycle the universe offers us is cyclical: life, death, life, death etc. However, all cells die. We know when we die on earth that our bodies become fertilizer. However, if the earth were to die, would it regenerate into something else? Would that something else be alive or dead or a better word....functioning? What fertilizes the universe? I totally agree re: man-made time construct but if the universe's structure is cyclical at what point was the circle constructed? At what point did the circle begin?

IvansArmy: Trying to answer that question is like chasing a ghost. It's entirely relative to who is observing. If we say we're "observing" and we concluded that we're the universe then it's us"observing...ourselves," hence the impetus to ask the question: when did I begin. Postulating that question divides us from our true existence. It implies we are something other than ourselves observing that "other" in Euclidean time and space. The problem is impossible to solve since it requires "othering" from the universe in order to observe it which creates an abstract reality. Ultimately, even if there is a logical answer, I believe a much more relevant and question is: Why is this answer so important?... or even better, Who wants to know?

VioletPlanet: But yet everything must begin...begin from what?

IvansArmy: Why must there be a beginning, and how do you define beginning and end?

VioletPlanet: A singular point of origin...everything originates from something else. Endings are just new beginnings. In other words, has it been scientifically proven that the universe is infinite or is there something greater and more vast than the universe? If the fractal article is correct then by your own description and the picture you sent me of the cauliflower, an origin must exist. Notice the base of the cauliflower and notice the top of the cauliflower. There are two distinct points.

IvansArmy: You have just answered your own question. Science cannot with any certainty prove its major theories about the beginning of the universe, hence the theories. Origin of something does not necessarily mean...a beginning.

VioletPlanet: Good Answer.

- Amanda Gefter ("Galaxy Map Hints at Fractal Universe," NewScientist.com, 6.25.08. Image: Fractal Cauliflower, 2008).

'Volvez

2011-05-13T10:58:00.000-07:00

Stuff I do at work...

2011-05-11T11:55:00.000-07:00

This one didn't go as well as I thought... hence it is not finished.

From January 2011 Blueprint Kiosk ad campaign

"We Are Monsters" gallery show in DC

2011-05-11T11:13:00.000-07:00

I was asked to submit work for a collaborative show called "We are Monsters." It is an annual event.

I submitted three illustrations created for the show:

Title: "Brains!"

Title: "Picking Flowers"

Title: "We are monsters"
This illustration did not go on display.

I pulled this info from their facebook page:

Time	Friday, May 6 at 7:00pm - June 4 at 6:00pm

Location	Pleasant Plains Workshop 2608 Georgia Avenue NW Washington, DC

Created By	Anthony Dihle

More Info	A hand-picked group of over twenty artists, illustrators, and designers are bringing the beasts to the heart of DC. Dual heads, third-eyes, cloven hoofs, purple fur, and forked tongues will be found in obscene abundance. Media will include painting, drawing, photography, sculpture, maybe even a little video. Opening Friday May 6, from 7–9pm at Pleasant Plains Workshop. Artists include Marc Crisafulli Carolyn Belefski Greg Pizzoli Dana Jeri Maier Antonio Peters Adam Dwight Elizabeth Graeber John Foster Rich Bernett Tim Gibbon Melinda Rainsberger Catherine Smith Josh Dihle Mike O'Brien Allison Glancey Ivan Anic Evan Keeling Kristina Bilonick Stephanie Kwak Steve Loya Jodi Hoover Lisa Adang Pia Blumenthal Anthony Dihle

Test, Test...

2011-05-10T18:41:00.000-07:00

One, two... one, two, three..